Am I in loving again?

Written at 30/06/2017 – Published at xxx

If there is something I’m sure about life: 1) one day everyone dies 2) life is unfair. Almost 1 year after breaking up a relationship of 8 years and it was unhealthy. I get in love with my best friend and he’s my ex’s colleague too. Is it a God’s decision? Is it Karma?

I don’t believe either in God, neither in Karma and neither in someone with super powers, but why???

I have talking about it to a lot of people, most of them say I should not care about my ex and be happy with my new crush, but it’s a bit hard. I still care about him, because even the relationship was not good for both, we were very closed, supported a lot each other and shared many moments of our life. ok it’s past, but if there is something that I believe, when you real love someone this person never will be replace for someone else, but ofc you will love another. For this reason my crush thinks I am still loving my ex, but I am not.

Me and my crush/friend with benefits/boyfriend/best friend, as you prefer call him, we are ‘together’ since January. In the beginning, it was only sex without any compromise, then we shared a lot of great moments, after we loose interest for others, we end up more and more closed and then having feelings.

He uses say he likes me, but I got very deep feelings. Should I pressure him to be in a real relationship, or keep as it is going on, or break up? I really don’t know what to do yet. I am also thinking if I truly love him or if it’s just a passion.

His smile makes me laugh, even when I am very worried.
His smell makes me feel comfortable.
His body makes me feel security.
His way to live makes me ask myself everyday how life can be good.
His way to wear makes me take care of myself every morning.
His conversation makes me lose track of time.
His voice makes me feel calm.
His distance makes me miss him.

How am I been blind for love again? Am I in loving again?

Note for readers:

  • If you are my ex, sorry if you had read this, just leave an emoji and I will understand if you will not want to talk to me more.
  • If you are my crush, you already know all this story. How are we now?
  • If you are me, just read again and remember this moment. you are allowed to cry or laugh about it.
  • If you are none of them, leave your opinion, what do you think about it?

xoxo

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