– Vocês viram as borboletas ontem à noite?
– Não, não vimos nada. Tem certeza? Borboletas? Ontem à noite? Já, tão cedo?
– Pois é…
– Ah, nosso menino crescido… Chegou a hora.
(Alfredo e seus pais no livro Um milhão de borboletas)
Feeling the butterflies in the stomach by someone is one of the rare and very powerful experiences that life gives us. It’s not about “finding it cute” and feeling physical attraction, having affinities and fellowship, it is something more: it is to see the world transform and lose ground in the face of the emotion of being close, is to feel that in a touch of skin, electricity from one pass to the other, into an energetic current that feeds both.
Do you remember the last time when you had this feeling?
I am just having my moment right now before going to sleep. Butterflies of love, peaceful, happiness and like everything is going very great. Besides me getting so much more self-confidence (I told you that I was really working hard on it), you babe, it’s a little responsible for this feeling too. I would say my next wish for us, it will be a real relationship, where there is just us and nothing else. I can wait for this moment a bit more. I am not telling you about marriage or these life’s steps, but for the time that we will be together, deeply on it.
I want you to feel comfortable and pleasure to be with me, when you don’t need to think more about meet random girls, or you are losing a competition with your friends, afraid of your insecurities. I will be there for all these moments. I will not run away from you, if we will be committed, we will have a deal, moments to share and a life to live. Each one will have their life too, friends, privacy, but we will know we will be there for us.
I don’t agree to be in love is painful, I don’t like this thought. For me, love is a complement, addition of who I am, who you are and all our sharing. I know you can read it (if you have been reading my blog) and feel a little bit scared of my feelings, please don’t worries I will not pressure you for anything that you don’t want or we don’t talk about it before. We both know what we want and how we want to live our life, but from now, we have a small deal, let’s try it and make it be a big deal in a future.
I will try to put my butterflies to sleep this night, however they are very very happy for all these recent moments. Just remember, don’t let this burtterflies dye, they are not more caterpillar in my heart. Butterflies are very delicate, my feelings too, once they die, it will be not more possible to revive them again.
I love you babe, I love you Sami. <3